Co-Dependency

A person who is co-dependent with another person struggles with issues related to self-worth, and uses that other person (often both people are using each other) as a means of distraction from uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Many times, consciously or unconsciously, the co-dependent person is trying to find a good parent to give them what they didn't get in their own childhood. In many cases, co-dependency involves desperate attempts to deal with and avoid dealing with their negative feelings of self-worth as well as painful feelings of guilt, shame, fear, anger and sadness that have originated in childhood. (Also See Adults with Troubled Childhoods).

Issues Related to Change

The emotional and behavioral problems that we face, that affect our feelings of self-worth, our confidence, our relationships with others, as well as our physical health can be changed. How to do this, and how long it takes, varies according to many factors. The basic factors that affect change involve answering the following questions:

* What is it you want to change about yourself?
* Do you want a "complete personality overhaul," or just "a minor tune up
* How much energy are you prepared to dedicate to the change you desire?
* Do you have a system, and the tools necessary to take you from where you are to where you want to be?

Psychotherapy can help in all these areas. Of the three, your desire or will to change is the most important ingredient. There are methods (tools) such as guided imagery and hypnosis as well as many others which can help you to increase your desire, even if you have mixed feelings about changing (very common) or have tried and failed in the past.